Run and Life

Today, was a typically bad day. I caved in to my stressors all at once and was cognitively dysfunctional. “Neurotypical people do not get some things”, said my old friend Paul/Pablo, “for them everything is a means to an end”. So, as people got disappointed in me, I went on a run.

I usually do not run more than 5km, but today I was full of a weird energy that needed to be channeled out somehow. A run seemed the best way. So, I started running from by house in Argüellas and just ran. As I ran my mind which was sad and dejected at the way the world treated me started to wake up. I almost had another person talking to me. I know this happens to a lot of people, at least the runners who run in parque del oeste. I can see them talking to themselves.

As I ran, a friend I was working with called and said she does not want to work with me as under my current circumstances, she does not think I can do the required task. I kept running on the call and said Thanks. Just before you imagine me of a hot-shot madrileño runner, running like a marathoner, Stop! I run pretty slow. I can barely do 10km in an hour.

As I ran, a mini realization came to me — Life is like a run as well and things happen when you are running. You start naturally then you see other people running faster, so you run fast as if it is a race. Then as you start panting like an elephant, you slow down. As you slow down, you feel better. You start enjoying it again. You see more people. So many colors and so many ways of walking. Some people are happy. Some are not so. But you keep running. Absorbing everything. Then someone called and said, that they liked another project and are giving a new one. You keep running. On a run, a project is not so important.

Once a while, a professional runner passes by. These people are usually the ones who are good at running (or living). They write the self help books. Even though you are kind of ok, you would go and increase your speed. Then you realise that it is hard to keep up (like reading their book), you come back to your speed. But you keep running!

Then someone glances at you. It is usually the girl who would never talk to you. You return the glance only to miss. This keeps happening until you stop trying and then start ignoring. There are moments when you want to give up. But, there is nothing interesting to do. So you keep running.

As you hit your capacities, you slow down. You have grown up. You have learned a bit. As people would say, you are nuanced. But you still keep running and eventually you are just walking fast. Then you think what happened and how everything eventually is made-up. Then you start running again.